Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it all went pear shaped again. My better ankle became unwalkable the day after my last track training session. All of my injury problems have been in my left leg, so I guess my right leg was feeling left out. It responded well to rollering. I found that a muscle called the popliteus was very, very tender. It sits at the back of the calf, near the top, and apparently has something to do with ankle function, which makes sense.
Then when I reached the stage where I thought about a tentative run, I woke up with tonsillitis. I had to forego the next cross country race, which was only down the road. Obviously, I was gutted. No, really.
I’m not sure if the protein and magnesium is working, or if it was coincidence, but the disease seemed to go almost as quickly as it came on. I had an okay run on the Tuesday, but my plans for Wednesday were scuppered when I had a migraine! Luckily I was well enough to go and take advantage of my Function Jigsaw raffle prize of a training session with local fitness instructors at Optimal Strength on the Thursday. One of the problems with migraines is that they make me feel nauseous, and because I hadn’t eaten, the physical side was put on hold, but we did have a good going over with the food side. I was right about the lack of protein having an adverse affect on my health. I have to aim for huge amounts of the stuff. Plus, I have to increase my fat intake, and should be looking at a whopping 40%! This is no Atkins Diet, and I need to have unrefined carbs where possible. I admitted that I struggle with eating; I barely eat 1,400 a day, and it’s not as if I’m starving myself. The problem has been not having the fat to bump that up. A few tweaks, and I should find my immune system improving, along with recovery.
I didn’t manage a run until the Friday, when I tried a new circuit of the local loops. It worked out to 4.5 miles, and was run at a pretty steady pace, but one that was quicker than my recent training pace. I did suffer for it, as my asthma complained for the rest of the day.
I woke up feeling fine on the morning of parkrun. My first at Braunstone for a while. With a race the next day, I didn’t want to push it, but my recent times have been getting me down. The Black Dog has been nipping at my heels, and with other stuff going on in my life (or not going on, in some cases), I’m finding it hard to shrug off. I’m also finding it hard to deal with other people. This may be self-indulgent, stupid, selfish, ignorant, but I can’t stop the feeling. Ordinarily, I’d be delighted when other people are doing well, but at the moment, I can’t get over my own frustration with my own performances, and lack of. For every step forward, every positive that I have, something comes along and pushes me further back. I don’t feel that I’ll ever get near my PBs. I’m almost resigned to it. Seeing others achieving just reminds me of my own failings. There, I’ve said it. If it makes me a nasty person, so be it.
I was actually pleased it was freezing cold. I sat in my car until I had just enough time to do a 2km warm-up, and did that, perfectly timed to avoid talking to as many people as possible. I knew it wouldn’t be totally unavoidable, but I coped. The run itself was laboured. I didn’t look at my Garmin until the finish, and I registered my quickest parkrun for four or five months. It was still four minutes slower than my PB, and I hated every minute of it. I took advantage of there being nobody around to find a quiet place to stretch, but one friend did find me, and I did have a mini-meltdown. This was why I wanted to be left alone, but I did appreciate the chat, however.
I am in need of a good shake, not just in my diet, but my head. I have been assured that I can regain my form, but I perhaps need to start to be a bit more selfish with my training. I need to start to up my game a bit, I need to get more distance, as well as speed. My stamina is lacking, too. This is going to hurt…